For 5 or so years (give or take a year) I was an active member of my local church. Sadly enough, I have recently severed all bonds with my church, an abrupt transition of my life and a shock to my family as well as my ministry. It was a difficult decision, but one not made hastily. I devoted hours reading and learning and contemplating my final decision that seems now like a forgone conclusion.Thus, I write this to offer my views on the ministry and the institutionalization of such a sacred and personal entitlement: the right to believe in a God.
But before I reveal my thoughts on this issue, I must say that I have no intention of offending anyone's religious beliefs. I am aware, as I am writing this, of the contentious nature of speaking publicly on religion and I admit that it will inevitably elicit anger or contempt from some individuals. However, I also request that some time and consideration be spared for my own opinions and alternative convictions.
In my sojourns to the library, I repeatedly tried to substantiate my beliefs with conclusive evidence. So often, the only proof offered for a fantastic belief is the amount of conviction it inspires in its believers. Of course, I wasn't looking for a fossil-type evidence for my beliefs; no such form exists. However, I desired to find a reasonable justification for my faith and in this search, I inevitably learned so much more than I had attending my weekly sermons
But this experience did not sway me into making my final decision. After much contemplation, I realized that I was most repelled by the institutionalization of religion. I realized that in systematizing such a personal and spiritual experience, some "x" factor was lost in the process. The powerful display of conviction in the praise songs and other events had clouded this truth from me, and I was complacent about this reality that I grasped a year ago. After much retrospection, I speculated that the "x" factor was a visceral and raw compassion for the religion; throughout many of the sermons I attended, I realized that many, including myself, were apathetic and uninterested in actually receiving the word.
This is a small highlight into my experience with my ministry. I reasoned that it held a large significance in my life since I broke free from what I felt was a rigidly systematized institution. I had never felt so free than when I renounced my church. Though this will appear as a tragedy to those of faith, I felt as if I had a mind to myself, a privilege of freedom of thought that I have never experienced due to the captivity of religion. I respect my ministry and other institutions of faith. However, I was repelled by the ideological rigidity of institutionalized religion and renounced my church, not on the grounds of its beliefs, but on the grounds of its system.
In my sojourns to the library, I repeatedly tried to substantiate my beliefs with conclusive evidence. So often, the only proof offered for a fantastic belief is the amount of conviction it inspires in its believers. Of course, I wasn't looking for a fossil-type evidence for my beliefs; no such form exists. However, I desired to find a reasonable justification for my faith and in this search, I inevitably learned so much more than I had attending my weekly sermons
But this experience did not sway me into making my final decision. After much contemplation, I realized that I was most repelled by the institutionalization of religion. I realized that in systematizing such a personal and spiritual experience, some "x" factor was lost in the process. The powerful display of conviction in the praise songs and other events had clouded this truth from me, and I was complacent about this reality that I grasped a year ago. After much retrospection, I speculated that the "x" factor was a visceral and raw compassion for the religion; throughout many of the sermons I attended, I realized that many, including myself, were apathetic and uninterested in actually receiving the word.
This is a small highlight into my experience with my ministry. I reasoned that it held a large significance in my life since I broke free from what I felt was a rigidly systematized institution. I had never felt so free than when I renounced my church. Though this will appear as a tragedy to those of faith, I felt as if I had a mind to myself, a privilege of freedom of thought that I have never experienced due to the captivity of religion. I respect my ministry and other institutions of faith. However, I was repelled by the ideological rigidity of institutionalized religion and renounced my church, not on the grounds of its beliefs, but on the grounds of its system.
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